Birthdays

I am big on birthdays, overboard crazy big

It's a special day, it's the only day of the whole year that is yours and yours alone

As usual memories of birthdays are scarce. I actually do not remember any birthdays at all except my 11th or 12th and, that is not a fond memory.....................

I throw my kids huge elaborate parties, fun food, fun games, gift bags for their friends. The whole thing.  I make sure it is special.

On your birthday I want you to feel special.

In my family kids or husband, on your day I make anything you want for dinner, doesnt matter what it is, it's yours

Husband I always put immense thought into his gift, and make his dinner special, I get him a cake or cupcakes. Anything to make him feel special.

WHY cant I have that feeling on my birthday? I am so damn sad that I dont get anything even remotely close in return. Nothing.
Shit, I talked to my Mom and she didnt even say Happy Birthday.
I am just really fucking sad man.